When bad things happen, especially things that have a big impact on us, it’s not uncommon to find a way to blame ourselves. After all, if it’s our fault, that means we have some control over the situation. And having control means that maybe next time, we can stop more bad from happening.
Unfortunately, though, the truth is that sometimes bad things just happen. And just because bad things happen to you, it does not make you a bad person.
We can’t control everything. The bad things are just as much a part of life as the good things. It might hurt and it might be difficult, but it doesn’t have to negatively define our character.
Sometimes, it helps to take an honest, objective look at a situation. Think of it this way- if a friend told you that the bad thing that happened to you had happened to them instead, what would you say to them? Would you think it was their fault? Or would you tell them that it wasn’t them, that they couldn’t have controlled it, and that they’re not to blame?
Be your own friend. Forgive yourself. Know that even the worst things that happen to you do not make you a worse person for going through them.
No matter what has happened to you, no matter what you’ve been through or what you’re going through, you are not at fault for everything. You are not a bad person for having gone through bad or scary or hurtful things. You are simply a very good person who bad things have happened to.
I am rooting for you. We’re all rooting for you. You can’t control everything, and that’s okay. But I promise, you are not a bad person. And things will get better.